Introduction by GiftedKids.in
There is a sentence almost every Indian child has heard, and it usually arrives from a relative rather than a parent. Itni si baat pe ro raha hai? And if the child is a boy, a second one follows close behind, which is worse because it is said kindly.
Both sentences assume the crying is the problem. Dr Inderbir Kaur Sandhu's account is that the feeling underneath it is not a fault to be corrected — and that what you do with it decides whether it becomes a burden or the child's best quality.
“My child cries over things that other children seem to brush off. A small disappointment can ruin the entire day, yet the same child can become incredibly excited about a new idea or act of kindness.”
A Concern I Often Hear From Parents
Many parents wonder whether their gifted child is 'too sensitive'. In reality, heightened emotional intensity is one of the characteristics I observe most frequently during assessments and consultations.
Why Emotions Feel Bigger
Gifted children often experience emotions deeply. They may react strongly to injustice, criticism, disappointment or even world events they hear about in the news. At the same time, they also experience joy, curiosity, wonder and empathy with remarkable intensity. Their emotional world is often richer and more complex than adults expect for their age.
What I Have Learnt From My Assessment Room
Some children apologise repeatedly after making a tiny mistake. Others worry that they have disappointed their parents despite receiving excellent results. I have also met children who become upset when fictional characters are treated unfairly or when they see another child left out. These reactions are not signs of weakness; they often reflect advanced empathy and deep emotional processing.
How Parents Can Help
- Acknowledge your child's feelings before trying to solve the problem.
- Teach emotional vocabulary so children can describe what they are experiencing.
- Model healthy ways of managing disappointment and frustration.
- Help children separate mistakes from self-worth.
- Encourage downtime, play and relaxation to prevent emotional overload.
Did You Know?
Psychologist Kazimierz Dabrowski described 'overexcitabilities', including emotional intensity, as characteristics commonly seen in many gifted individuals. Although not every gifted child shows these traits, many parents recognise them immediately when they learn about them.
Myth vs Reality
Sensitive children need to 'toughen up'.
Emotional sensitivity can become a strength when children learn healthy emotional regulation. Many compassionate leaders, innovators and creatives attribute their success to caring deeply about people and ideas.
Dr Inderbir's Reflection
One of the greatest gifts parents can give a sensitive child is acceptance. When children feel understood rather than criticised for their emotions, they gradually learn that feelings are not something to fear—they are something to understand and manage. Sensitivity, when nurtured well, often develops into empathy, resilience and emotional wisdom.
Want to Learn More?
Dr Inderbir Kaur Sandhu is a psychologist, gifted education specialist and author of The Secret to Raising a Smarter Child. With over two decades of experience working with gifted and twice-exceptional children, she specialises in understanding how children think, learn and thrive. Her work focuses on cognitive assessment, talent development and helping families nurture children's strengths while supporting their social and emotional development.